Cheap 82 Cent Etsy Road Opener Spells Are a Joke

I saw a “road opener spell” on Etsy for the grand price of… drumroll please… $0.82.

After Etsy takes its cut (the listing fee, the transaction fee, the processing fee, the oxygen fee, the existing on the internet fee, and the “congratulations, you woke up today” fee), the seller pockets about thirty cents. Thirty freaking cents for a spell that allegedly clears your path, alters your direction, and rearranges the universe.

At that rate, the only road opening is the one leading straight to the seller’s bank account. NO ONE is bending cosmic forces at a thirty cent profit margin.

No candles are being lit. No oils are being used. No herbs are being crushed. No ancestors are being consulted. No spirits are being given offerings. No roads are being opened. No blockages are being removed.

At best, someone is laughing at you as they click “mark as completed” while eating cereal or hot Cheetos and sending out a garbage, recycled AI photo of an altar. These 82 cent spells are a complete insult to real metaphysical work and the actual labor it takes to do this right. And the people who buy them expect real sellers to work for nothing and give them the world for a dollar. Shame on those who bought it while trying to bargain hunt and coupon clip their way into clearance rack path changing results.

And if you are one of the folks who bought this 82 cent foolishness or any other under 99 cents spell and swear up and down that it worked? If you think it changed your life, it was not magic. It was the first time you believed in something. If you want to buy a spiritual service, stop shopping like you are at Dollar Tree with a handful of loose change. You would have better luck taking that change, making a wish, and throwing it in a fountain somewhere.

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